Raya Weekend and Malaysian Drivers (Especially Malaysian Drivers!)

Hello and welcome back to The Accidental Blogger!. First of all this is supposed to be 2 stories but since I am too lazy to split it, I shall just summarize it to one.

The Raya weekend was awesome. I was on leave for four days (including the weekend) and was in Butterworth and Penang for those 2 days. During my stay I managed to meet up with my form 5 batch of ’98 namely Areef and Sofian (who organized the event) and it was a good time reminiscing the past and how we used to be and what has become of some of the guys that I have not met.

It was a good get together as I have not kept in touch with these guys since form 5 and meeting them up was definitely great especially a day before the end of Ramadhan because once Raya has started, it would not be easy to meet up with all the guys as they would be busy entertaining guest since a majority of them are married with kids.

I also managed to hang out with some of my colleagues during the weekend as they came down for another colleague’s wedding and we chilled at Sunset Bistro in Batu Ferringhi. I enjoy that place as it’s by the beach and the music is not loud so we could hear each other speak and catch some football. I was there on the next day too with my sisters since they needed a get-away too.

It was a weekend well spent as my elder sister was back from the UK and it was good to see her as I had missed her and also my eldest sister was back with my niece and nephew so I got to spend time with them too and not forgetting my parents.

And that my friends, was the upside of the weekend. Now, the ugly side; this time around I drove down to Penang due to the onset of the A(H1N1) pandemic and public transport is not recommended. What I noticed was either Malaysian drivers are stupid, ignorant, busy-bodies or all the above. The character of a person can be very best described by the way they drive!

I have categorized the drivers based on these three groups; The Idiots, The Arseholes and The ones whom I cannot find a suitable cuss word for!

Let us take a closer look at these creatures based on their categorizations, shall we?

The Idiots

The idiots are creatures that own cars but do not know how to use it or are just too plain stupid to know what to do with a car. For example, a car is meant to be driven at a reasonable speed, such as 60 km/h not 20 km/h, that too on the fast lane. Also, since it was the Raya weekend, there were many cars parked by the sleeve of the road as some drivers may have been tired and the rest stops were full. That was not the problem; the problem was that other drivers slowed down to just look at these parked cars! Why in the name of god would you slow down to look at parked cars? I thought it was just accidents that caused these creatures to slow down… but NOOOO…they had to slow down to see parked cars! It is already absolutely ridiculous to slow down when there is an accident and not to offer help but to slow down to look at parked cars sounds even more stupid to me. This scenario went on all the way from Slim River to Bukit Merah (practically the whole Perak)

The Arseholes

These are the creatures that do not value life and drive at speeds up to “the speedometer cannot go any further” per hour! If you want to drive fast, fine, you want to pay the fine for speeding, fine, just do not do it by risking me and my family. These creatures drive so fast and they come right behind you and start flashing for us to move; look, I would move if I was not overtaking another car, so you would just have to fucking wait! Flashing would be a mere annoyance but TAILGATING is a no-no. What would happen if I had to slam my breaks, there is absolutely no way in hell that you could avoid crashing into me. If any of you reading this is a tailgater, I wish you would burn in hell (if there was one)!

The ones whom I cannot find a suitable cuss word for

These are the creatures that use the emergency lane so they can get home faster than the other tax-payers who are stuck in a jam. Now let me put this straight, an emergency lane does not mean that just because your balls are aching that you can use it, an emergency lane is to be used when your grandmother is dying and you’re rushing her to the hospital or if an ambulance is rushing your loved one to the hospital or if a fire truck is rushing too put off the fire that is consuming your home. If you use this lane just to get home faster to catch the match or if your meal is getting cold, then you cause a far more severe jam due to a bottle neck and the ambulance that is rushing your loved one would be trapped in the jam too causing your loved one to probably DIE or your house would have been burnt to bits or grandma has decided to go towards the light because her grandchildren are too dim that they used the emergency lane that was supposed to be used for an emergency for a non-emergency!
It gets even worse still is when they use the emergency lane and try to cut in when the guys who have been following the queue are expected to give way….well guess what, no way motherfucker! You wait in fucking line…and do not have the audacity to give me a stare because I did not give you way…you fucking deserve it….to you motherfuckers who cut lanes, I hope you go to hell and Satan waits to butt-fuck you with a pitch fork! YOU FUCKERS ARE A HAZARD TO “REAL” EMERGENCIES!

And there you have it, my piece for a well spent holiday but an undeserving driving experience to and back from Penang.