An Appeal to Penis Owners!

Dear Fellow Penis Owners,

I would like to humbly request that you keep your appendage in check when taking a piss. Firstly, I do agree that you ideally think that you own a bazooka for a penis and that it can shoot long distances but the sad truth is that, it is simply not that big.

The reason I say so is because some of you keep leaving your cock stains on the rim of the toilets and the floor! Please bear in mind that other manly beings use those toilets to take a crap and do not want to come in contact with your DNA.

Let me educate you on how to use your most valued appendage, here are the steps:

  1.       Step close to the toilet bowl/urinal and make sure you are above it and not 6 feet away although I know it is fun to play aiming games but trust me, you’re not a trained sniper.

  2.       Pee: INTO THE BOWL; when you hear your bi-product make contact with the water in the bowl, you are a hero! You’re doing it right

  3.       When you are about to be done, make sure you wiggle your dongle ABOVE THE BOWL and make sure you can hear the droplets! Don’t be too quick to put your penis back before you are sure you are done, this is where the mistakes mostly happens.

  4.       Once you are done make sure you did not leave your manly stains on the rim.

  5.       Wash hands (additional tip). It’s not cool to not wash your hands. It’s tantamount to using your dingley-dangley to type or hold your burger or to touch anything for that matter!

This is my humble request. I hope Penis owners of the world could adhere to this if they have a preference to use the toilet bowl instead of urinals. Toilet bowl users are the ones with Penis Envy but not all of us are perfect are we!