Friday, July 08, 2011

Here's a go at a fictional piece

Disclaimer: this is a fictional piece from my twisted mind and bears no resemblance to anyone dead or alive or planning to kill themselves or who thinks they are the one in this fictional write up. I take no responsibility to those who are reading this blog and get annoyed, agitated, blind, deaf, mute or completely fail to use their senses, after this line. Should you want to stop reading, this is where you STOP.

On July 9th I decide to go into KL to catch the new transformers flick at pavilion.

Whilst getting ready, I realize I have run out of some good shirts to wear except for my orange yet faded Stussy shirt that I got for one of my birthdays aeons ago.

Two points to note
1. Why Pavilion: because I have never been there and I would like to go there. Tak boley ka?
2. Why orange of all colours: no other shirt...period!

So anyway, I am all geared up to watch those sexy robots in action and hop into my car and drive my arse there when I get stuck in a road block.

As I approach the block I get a little uneasy because yellow cars are getting pulled over (no, in my mind my car is not yellow, it is a silver Lamborghini and it has pink curtains). The reason I got uneasy is because there were many yellow cars and I am getting late for the movie which I pre-booked 6 years ago (this is my imagination, get your own!)

When it came to my turn to be checked, I was asked to get down by the gentleman in blue and I was like what the f*** (oh, fuck it, I just said fuck, okay.., fuck duck, fuck a duck, there I said it)

So the negotiations begin

Me: selamat pagi 'cik,
Officer: Pagi ape? Dah pukul 3 petang kau dok cakap pagi!
Me: Maaf 'cik, Saya baru bangun, kira ni pagi lagi 'cik untuk saya. Lagipun, kenapa saya kena tahan, 'cik?
Officer: eh, kau jangan dok buat pandai, dah pakai baju kuning, kau boleh tanya lagi buat salah ape?!
Me: saya bukannya bijak sangat, 'cik, SPM pun kira lepai saja...
Officer: mulut tu jage skit; awak tak tahu kenapa awak kena tahan?
Me: Tak tau 'cik...
Officer: hari ni hari demo BERSIH, kau ingat aku tak tau agenda kau?
Me: 'cik pun tau yang saya nak pi tengok transformers? 'cik ni part time bomoh ka?!
Officer: jangan cakap banyak, ikut pergi balai sekarang!
Me: Kenapa 'cik? Saya tak buat salah apa-apa pun!
Officer: yang kau pakai baju kuning ni apehal?
Me: Ni jingga 'cik!
Officer: kau ingat aku bodoh ke?
Me: mungkin, ' sorry, tak, 'cik. Tapi saya bersumpah 'cik, ni unggu... Eh, sorry, jingga. Cuma warnanya dah luntur pasai dah cuci berpuluh kali nak bagi Bersih.
Officer: aku tak kisah, kau ikut pergi balai sekarang, kalau tak, aku tambah lagi kes atas nama kau bahawa awak menahan pegawai menjalankan tugas!
Me: tapi 'cik ni jing...
Officer: jangan banyak bising! Ikut pegawai tu skarang!
Me: ni, jinggaaaaaaaaaaa

I was put into the patrol car and taken to the station to have my statement taken. Knowing that I was a little dim, they released me after I agreed to take my shirt off and show off manliness. I had to call my wife to pick me up and bring some change of clothes. I then wore a pink (my favourite colour) towel over my top half and left the station only to be greeted by a swarm of journalists.

Next day in the news:

Man detained for wearing 'yellow'

Kuala Lumpur, A 30 year old man was detained yesterday for wearing what is believed to be a yellow t-shirt.

The man, originally from Penang was detained because he was suspected to have the intension of taking part in a rally in the heart of the city.

The man was the released 3 hours later after he had agreed to remove his shirt which caused some amount of public discomfort.

When approached the man, he had only this to say "orange is not yellow!!!"

Moral of the story: we wash our clothes to be BERSIH. But some people just want it to be Kotor!

Real Moral of the Story: orange is not yellow!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1 comment:

azman thaiyub khan said...